My life is good.
I have a family. I was born into this family on August 13, 1984. This family, although I didn't know it at the time, had my best interests for me. My Parents raised me well. I was well disciplined, loved and cared for. They instilled in me values and morals which I feel have made me who I am. They also imprinted on me Gods truth. I love my family. Mom, Dad brothers and yes even my sister. My parents taught me how to love my wife, even when I am mad. My brothers have both given me wisdom about life and showed me that no matter what I can make it work. My sister has proven to me that people can change even when they don't want to. My niece, who is like a little sister, has taught me that I can forgive and make right. Thanks goes out to my family. I can only hope I have done as much for you as you have done for me.
I am happily married, Cynthia and I got married on June 16, 2007. We have known each other since 17. I was a romantic fool before marriage. I was extravagant, spending money like nothing. Big dates, Limos, Candle light dinners in the park. No expense was too high for my girl. Before marriage and shortly after I changed. I am stingy man now, holding tightly to all forms of money. She has been more than supporting, she truly loves me for me and doesn't care what she has. I love her with everything. I want her to remember me as a loving husband who did everything for her benefit. Thank you Cynthia for loving me, even when I made it hard.
I am a Father, Zachary James was born on April 13, 2008. He changed my life for good. I love my son and want to spend as much time with him as possible. I want him to think of me as a man that loved God. I want to be like my dad and show him that in all circumstances he can rely on God to get him though. If I could teach my son one thing it would be how to love God. My son, do not forget my teaching, but let your heart keep my commandments. I want you to learn God's commandments a keep them close in your heart. Love your wife don't waste time and heartbreak over arguments. Be all that you want to be, never give up.
I am a leader. I know how to do my job. I think I am good at it. I am well liked by some and hated by others. This is a fact of life. Not everyone will like me. If they did I don't think I am doing my job. My dilemma however is how do the people I lead think of me as a person. I don't think I would like there response. I want to be remembered as a good boss who cared for his employees. Am I that boss? I don't think so. I deeply care for my staff I just don't think I show it. How do I become a leader that cares? I want to thank everyone who taught me how to be a leader and the staff that allows me to mess up.
I am a friend. I have had many friends. In life, friendships can get lost in the details. I devote my life to my family. Because of this devotion, friends have come and have gone. Lately more going. I feel I have lost friends because I am no longer who I was. The choices I made in the past determined my friends and who I was. Now choices I am making is causing me to lose friends and become who I want to be. I would say this is for the better. I am a friend to many but have very little true friends. Thank you to my true friends. You know who you are and I know that nothing will break that friendship.
I have two questions that I am faced with from my small group.
What do you think people will say at your funeral?
I am torn about this. How will I be remembered? I am not sure. I know everyone will have something good to say and yet something bad to say. Some more good, some more bad. I have decided that it is not important to me how I am remembered for my past but it is important how I should live from now on. I need to begin living like I want to be remembered. If I can do this then I wouldn't have to worry about how I might be remembered.
How would you like to be remembered?
I want to be remember as a good father, faithful husband, a compassionate leader but mostly a person who loves Christ.
I want to be Christ like, however I am not perfect therefore I can never be fully like Christ. I realize this and have accepted Jesus as my personal savior. In doing this I am no longer seen as imperfect but as perfect in his sight. This means that when I am judged on that day God will see me though Jesus and my blemishes will be washed away. Does this mean I am perfect? No, this means I am forgiven. If I am forgiven is it important for me to live a good life? I am forgiven therefore I can sin as much as possible. NO, if I truly believe and accept Christ I will desire to change my life and be as much like Christ as possible.
"For me the Christian walk is about being a hypocrite.
To follow an ideal knowing that I will fail at it.
But failing at perfection is better than success with sin."
Stolen from Tyson Behrns.
Thanks Tyson for letting me steal that without your permission. I feel it sums up how I have felt about my life for a long time. I have always felt like a hypocrite because of the sin in my life.
I am glad I am failing at perfection, with Christ I will succeed at it in the end.
